Interesting. So the emptying the garbage can seems to be part of or practice for letting go, as we need to when our time comes and the ground luminosity dawns! If we can’t let go of other people’s problems in this life, what chance do we have of abandoning our old habits and moving towards enlightenment when the brief opportunity is afforded us as we move between bardos!
Thank you, again, David -- you’ve hit upon life themes that totally ring bells for me! No surprise. It better be that way in this dance we create together!
I was fortunate to grow up with parents who strive to live loving kindness with head-heart-hands. And for my mom, a “deep thinker”, sympathy-empathy, the overt and subtle differences in theory and practice were a Life consideration. So, in the last weeks of her life when asked what she had determined was the “most important”, she responded: to try always to act out of love -- “...and, oh, just to be kind!”
For twenty years I had the personally deeply affecting opportunity to share /“teach” “The Etiquette of Kindness” with @3-9th grade students in public and private schools -- always as a gift from me to them as far as monetary considerations, but each encounter was pure Gift to me.
With considerations always if adapting according to age, one of the things that I adored bringing was the entomology/morphology of key words we use in our relationships with others, especially “com-passion”, “com-munity”, “com-municate”... all the ways we express our relationships to “Other”. Vitality and continuum of “I-Thou” with “the magic” happening in the “empty” space between, where love happens. No matter the ages and the variations I witnessed the students being affirmed & catching fire with joy. Humbling and moving for me, that’s for sure.
So! It all continues. Here you (& HHC!) are, giving from your heart and meditations...from your teachers and gurus...simply, kindly helping me and others on our way in the principle of Clear Light. No matter the details of time-place-individuals...I consider it a dance of loving kindness and gratitude. Gassho.
Many thanks for sharing that beautiful message from the heart, Suzanne-Marie! I often think that our whole experience of reality is like a dance of constant movement, change and unfolding.
Thank you David. I almost feel that you are writing to me directly. Sympathy and empathy arise daily in my life and I find that this automatically triggers compassion. In fact I find that compassion is the only way to deal with empathy and sympathy. Loving kindness and mindfulness also arise and makes compassion easier to deal with a situation.
I feel that this post you have written for us, is probably one of your best. it substantiates something I had to learn as a nurse working in our critical care unit. Compassion but detachment without this understanding I don't think I could have continued working in this field as much as I loved it. Your superb post has confirmed this for me. Thank you again David for your lucidity.
Thanks for the link there was no video about quantum physics. Also can you do one of your future HHC books on the Medicine Buddha. There are so many important teachings there. Thanks Jeanne Serafin
Again very useful insights and clarity. As someone who works a lot with cancer patients it is useful to be reminded of the subtle but powerful definitions of sympathy, empathy and compassion.I am no help to any one if I get pulled into the abyss! I also find, doing a nightly ritual of prayer , meditation and lighting a candle for those that I know are struggling, that helps to "empty the bin" for me.
I love the concept of the "lama in my mind" I am going to run with that too.... mine keeps reminding me to breathe......
This especially applies to our relationship with animals. Empathy is difficult, as we are applying human emotions to other beings. But compassion for our animal companions on our shared planet can be limitless, for those who are open to the depth of the joy and suffering of all beings.
I love this so much - often when I'm listening to people talk about trauma or abuse in my work, I see other people get really emotional but I don't - I wonder if I'm desensitised to those feelings or now am wondering if it's more compassion and understanding of where that person is coming from. It's almost like I switch onto work mode and then can step out of it... thank you for sharing this, just what I needed!
I forgot to add, in the BBC video it talks about how empathy can be bias. I now understand how if a mother is cruel to her child for example I can develop a bias against the mother. I have also gained insight into how compassion can help rectify this. One question? Is this linked to the concept of equanimity in Buddhism?
David, I needed this, personally. My parish's Lenten study is rooted in "practicing compassion with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind," and many participants (and to some extent me!) are struggling with the differences and similarities among sympathy, empathy, and compassion--and the personal costs of each. I have not found a "cleaner" discussion of these 3 powerful approaches to our response to sadness, difficulties...all the trials of our lives, of those we care about, of all beings. Thank you for the clarity and, yes, the compassion evident in this post.
Interesting. So the emptying the garbage can seems to be part of or practice for letting go, as we need to when our time comes and the ground luminosity dawns! If we can’t let go of other people’s problems in this life, what chance do we have of abandoning our old habits and moving towards enlightenment when the brief opportunity is afforded us as we move between bardos!
Exactly, Chris! Many thanks for sharing this additional insight.
Thank you, again, David -- you’ve hit upon life themes that totally ring bells for me! No surprise. It better be that way in this dance we create together!
I was fortunate to grow up with parents who strive to live loving kindness with head-heart-hands. And for my mom, a “deep thinker”, sympathy-empathy, the overt and subtle differences in theory and practice were a Life consideration. So, in the last weeks of her life when asked what she had determined was the “most important”, she responded: to try always to act out of love -- “...and, oh, just to be kind!”
For twenty years I had the personally deeply affecting opportunity to share /“teach” “The Etiquette of Kindness” with @3-9th grade students in public and private schools -- always as a gift from me to them as far as monetary considerations, but each encounter was pure Gift to me.
With considerations always if adapting according to age, one of the things that I adored bringing was the entomology/morphology of key words we use in our relationships with others, especially “com-passion”, “com-munity”, “com-municate”... all the ways we express our relationships to “Other”. Vitality and continuum of “I-Thou” with “the magic” happening in the “empty” space between, where love happens. No matter the ages and the variations I witnessed the students being affirmed & catching fire with joy. Humbling and moving for me, that’s for sure.
So! It all continues. Here you (& HHC!) are, giving from your heart and meditations...from your teachers and gurus...simply, kindly helping me and others on our way in the principle of Clear Light. No matter the details of time-place-individuals...I consider it a dance of loving kindness and gratitude. Gassho.
Many thanks for sharing that beautiful message from the heart, Suzanne-Marie! I often think that our whole experience of reality is like a dance of constant movement, change and unfolding.
“...a dance of constant movement, change and unfolding.” Yes! Thanks again!
Thank you David. I almost feel that you are writing to me directly. Sympathy and empathy arise daily in my life and I find that this automatically triggers compassion. In fact I find that compassion is the only way to deal with empathy and sympathy. Loving kindness and mindfulness also arise and makes compassion easier to deal with a situation.
Thank you and bless you
Thank you so much
Thanks so much for your message, Peter, One's personal experience is all the validation needed to bring clarity to this subject.
I feel that this post you have written for us, is probably one of your best. it substantiates something I had to learn as a nurse working in our critical care unit. Compassion but detachment without this understanding I don't think I could have continued working in this field as much as I loved it. Your superb post has confirmed this for me. Thank you again David for your lucidity.
So glad you found this helpful, Trish!
Thanks for the link there was no video about quantum physics. Also can you do one of your future HHC books on the Medicine Buddha. There are so many important teachings there. Thanks Jeanne Serafin
Thanks Jeanne. The Secret Mantra is about exactly this, but I appreciate, not in HHC's tone of voice!
Thank you!
Again very useful insights and clarity. As someone who works a lot with cancer patients it is useful to be reminded of the subtle but powerful definitions of sympathy, empathy and compassion.I am no help to any one if I get pulled into the abyss! I also find, doing a nightly ritual of prayer , meditation and lighting a candle for those that I know are struggling, that helps to "empty the bin" for me.
I love the concept of the "lama in my mind" I am going to run with that too.... mine keeps reminding me to breathe......
Also thanks for the links
So glad that you found the post helpful, Sarah! I also like the idea of 'emptying the bin!'
This especially applies to our relationship with animals. Empathy is difficult, as we are applying human emotions to other beings. But compassion for our animal companions on our shared planet can be limitless, for those who are open to the depth of the joy and suffering of all beings.
So well put, I couldn't agree more, thanks Janice!
I love this so much - often when I'm listening to people talk about trauma or abuse in my work, I see other people get really emotional but I don't - I wonder if I'm desensitised to those feelings or now am wondering if it's more compassion and understanding of where that person is coming from. It's almost like I switch onto work mode and then can step out of it... thank you for sharing this, just what I needed!
So glad this was helpful Saba! Sounds like you are already aware of the need to avoid empathy distress, in order to best help those you encounter.
I forgot to add, in the BBC video it talks about how empathy can be bias. I now understand how if a mother is cruel to her child for example I can develop a bias against the mother. I have also gained insight into how compassion can help rectify this. One question? Is this linked to the concept of equanimity in Buddhism?
Lovely distinctions: sympathy, empathy and compassion.
Thanks so much Patrick!
Very helpful and so important. Self care is part of compassion and essential life skill.
Glad that you find it so, ElaineGR - and I agree about its importance.
Thank you for your clear explanation of the difference between empathy and compassion, David.
My pleasure, Wendy, so glad you find it helpful.
David, I needed this, personally. My parish's Lenten study is rooted in "practicing compassion with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind," and many participants (and to some extent me!) are struggling with the differences and similarities among sympathy, empathy, and compassion--and the personal costs of each. I have not found a "cleaner" discussion of these 3 powerful approaches to our response to sadness, difficulties...all the trials of our lives, of those we care about, of all beings. Thank you for the clarity and, yes, the compassion evident in this post.
My sincere thanks, Bette for your kind words. I find that clarity about the definitions of things helps move conversations forward in a useful way.
Very interesting differentiation David. Thank you.
Many thanks indeed, Tom!
Thank you for this exquisite differentiation of empathy and compassion. Smiling and feeling a sense of relief!
So glad to hear this , songwoman!
Appreciated the distinction between empathy and compassion. It will help me be mindful as I continue my volunteer work in animal welfare. 💜
What a wonderful cause to be part of, Deborah!