As I read your post this morning, I had the sense, much like I do with my Google devices, that you somehow manage to listen in to my life and my thoughts because you always seem to come through with exactly what I need to be reminded of from the Buddhist principles with with I endeavor to guide my presence in life. Here's my favorite passage from your piece, "Non-attachment is not about becoming indifferent, but about engaging with reality more truthfully - and, in some ways, more tenderly. Nothing is pushed away, and nothing is clung to. We enjoy what is present without needing it to last, and care for others without trying to possess them. Far from becoming coolly detached observers of the world, non-attachment allows us to participate in it more freely—without the tension of needing things to be other than they are." Namaste, Blessed Be. 💜🙏🧘♀️🐈⬛👩🦳
Dear David, another timely tome. You seem to be able to read my mind. I am having trouble not being upset by the indifference (ingratitude? lack of a desire to stay in touch?), of my children. Despite the 1,000km distance, I made a point of visiting my parents three or four times a year. And enjoyed their company, and helping them as they aged. That practice seems to have skipped the next generation. People are always busy planning trips, just not to me. I find it hard to shrug my shoulders and accept it. Cultivating indifference doesn't seem to help either. Never mind. So sad, too bad, etc.
Fortunately, I can donate to you and your charities and make a difference to beings in real need of a hand-up! Definitely a feel good experience!
(PS, I hadn't heard of "crack the sads", but I understand where you are coming from!)
Hi Chris, your comment touched me and I sincerely empathize with your pain.
I personally felt a whole heap of emotions from rejection, guilt, bewilderment, anger and always sad.
Something has changed and finally it’s becoming easier to accept ‘what is’ without my busy mind getting involved and I’m more peaceful.
David’s post yesterday teaches this point so clearly… ‘It’s important to understand that the people and objects of our attachment are not the problem. It is the power we give them to disturb our peace of mind.’
I am really sorry to hear this, Chris. The younger ones, in particular, seem to live extremely distracted, fragmented lives these days. I fear for them they many will discover, too late, that they have prioritised what seems urgent over what is truly important.
Like a number of others in the comments, this was a timely post for me, as well! Some friends and I were just hiking and wondering how to not feel attachment without hardening or detaching.
This post brought up a number of thoughts. One was recalling the intense grief I felt when I lost a few close relations, my dad for one, and why it hurt so much. That led to how I can manage and accept my fear of the inevitable loss of my 18 year old soul cat, and ways to practice love AND non-attachment. I'm attached to how much I love him, and the joy I feel that our paths have crossed in this life. How fortunate I am to have known and loved those who are now passed on, and those who are not. While I don't consciously fear death, rather it is a subject I find fascinating, I do fear emotions and the physical pain they can bring. This post helped illuminate some blind spots, which helps in figuring out how to heal -and accept- in additional ways. So, thank you.
Another thought was noticing the differences in friendships I've stepped away/detached from out of the inability to accept "toxic people", vs friends I've accepted as they are, even if I don't resonate with their values. I'm still working on this thought, but recognizing some blind spots in my decisions might help me move towards true forgiveness for the people I labeled "toxic" in the past, as well as having better boundaries, being a better version of myself, as life continues. It seems to relate to attachment to the "good" version of these people rather than accepting the whole version, which would have allowed me to make a better decision on what kind of friendship to have, if any, far earlier than a "break up".
Anyway. Sharing those thoughts in case they land as helpful to someone else. I'll save the rest for my journal. Thank you for this post, David, and for initiating such constructive mental (emotional? spiritual?) exercises.
Thank you for your down to earth explanation of the distinction between Non-attachment and Detachment.
And how this difference speaks to the heart of Bodhichitta.
It is a “game-changer” how we engage more fully in the world-with others, for others, without being dependent on them nor the outcome of our endeavors for our ultimate happiness.
The photo of little Scrappy is adorable!! Thank you for the update from Twala! 🐈⬛🙏🪷 Peace to you, David
Such a timely topic. I was just about to choose detachment, but I will now choose non-attachment instead and realign with my vision. I will be using the story of "unsuccess" with my team to help them reframe the idea of "failure" into one of learning and growth. Thank you!
It is a very important difference between non-attachment and attachment. I will try to practice non-attachment to experience equanimity towards other people as well as unforeseen situations. I loved all your pictures and is amazing the help the Twala Trust Sanctuary bring to all those dogs.
Reading your emails is a source of knowledge each time.
Dear David, Thank you for another wonderful post. Translation from Buddhist terms to an equivalent is not an easy thing at all since so many times it’s a one word concept with great depth of meaning in Buddhism, and there just is no equivalent in non Buddhist cultures. Emptiness is the one of those words too. It’s nice we study it and “get” it all is well, but I’m sure lots of newcomers to Buddhist philosophy read and either interpret it poorly or are actually turned off by misunderstanding. It would be better to use several words and get it right than one word that misleads…..but I’m sure we’ll see emptiness and non-attachment anyway!
Thank you for your clear, concise, logical communications! Always a pleasure!
You are so right about the limitations of language and the problems translating in particular from Sanskrit, which had such an extensive and refined lexicon of words for different aspects of consciousness, to English, which has ... not so much! I so appreciate all your generous support!
This is a good synopsis. Though I need to let you know that since I do not have a credit card I cannot contribute to your causes overseas. I tried. It do not work. So, I shall continue to contribute here in the states.
Thank you David for making everything so easy to understand. I think that sometimes I try to look to deep and then confuse myself.
I have started “letting go” of attachment. Would that be the same as Non Attachment. I find that with friends and family you don’t stop loving or enjoying them. I just realize that, like me they are living their lives and adjusting to their own predicaments that everything just drifts apart. I used to obsess about it but now just accept things as they are.
I try to stay in touch by sending out “Good Morning/Night” WhatsApp’s, just to let them know I am here and thinking of them. Some reply, some don’t but that is fine.
I would love to have someone i could just hug now and again. I miss that in my life.
Tinkie is in my thoughts and prayers. I do hope she recovers.
Letting go is the essence of non-attachment, Peter. It doesn't mean we lose our preferences, likes or dislikes, just recognising that they are not necessary to our ultimate wellbeing.
This was such a helpful piece. It made me think that when we feel we can't live without a person or thing it sometimes means we lack the very quality that we want in others. So if we could then focus on ourselves and try to achieve a slightly better version of ourselves it could help us be a better friend and also choose more appropriate friends. There is nothing better and more rewarding than a balanced relationship. And we all just keep living and learning.... and enjoying.
Dearest David, thank you for discussing this important difference! I think maybe if we don't fully understand "Non-Attachment", it could easily move to "de-tachment", which is NOT the same, and something we definitely don't want to move towards. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks once again for giving clarity to a topic that is so easily misunderstood and one that I need to continually return to.
It reminded me of when a young person I met, who on hearing I was trying to live with the guidance of Buddhas teachings asked me if I could explain to her how you could love someone deeply without becoming attached to them.
I hadn’t been practicing long and found it difficult to give her an answer. However, not long after I met a lady who was separating from her husband and she told that though she loved him she knew he was going to be happier with another person he had met. I thought then that, that was probably love without attachment, being able to put someone you love’s happiness before your own, which hopefully gave her peace too.
Hi David, I was wondering perhaps you could increase the monthly contributions to Twala trust from $11 to $20, given prices have skyrocketed. I appreciate you updating us on how the animals are going and they require to keep going.
As for non-attachment, I have this philosophy of 'what is meant to be mine, won't pass me'. However I do struggle not not forming attachments to my pets.😊 As for detachment, I work in mental health and notice people being clinically detached and I do get it, kind of a survival mechanism. But in saying that, kindness is a given and people need more of it in today's world. ❤️❤️❤️
That's a very kind thought, Morena, but increasing subscriber rates would make my work unaffordable to some and, like tax systems around the world, the higher the rates, the less revenue is generated! However, people can always give via the partnership with GDG - plus that offers tax deductible receipts, which is very helpful for many people.
So uplifting to hear the good that is being done through the charities that we support. My prayers are with Tinki and a full recovery. Its such an honour to be part of this growing community. Thank you so much for the opportunity David and Koala.
Dear David, Thanks for the update from Twala Trust and for all your support of that project. I have had 3 Rhodesian Ridgebacks over the years (the current love was 7 in January), and I can't help noticing the physical similarities to many of the dogs coming for Doggy Tuesday (the African wild dog coming through, I guess). It breaks my heart to see an emaciated animal, but especially one who resembles my very well-fed pooch. Your update with photos reminded me send a donation to join your generous gifts.
As I read your post this morning, I had the sense, much like I do with my Google devices, that you somehow manage to listen in to my life and my thoughts because you always seem to come through with exactly what I need to be reminded of from the Buddhist principles with with I endeavor to guide my presence in life. Here's my favorite passage from your piece, "Non-attachment is not about becoming indifferent, but about engaging with reality more truthfully - and, in some ways, more tenderly. Nothing is pushed away, and nothing is clung to. We enjoy what is present without needing it to last, and care for others without trying to possess them. Far from becoming coolly detached observers of the world, non-attachment allows us to participate in it more freely—without the tension of needing things to be other than they are." Namaste, Blessed Be. 💜🙏🧘♀️🐈⬛👩🦳
The passage you selected stood out to me too! Thank you for rewriting it. It helps seeing it again.
Thank you so much for responding to my post with such exquisitie insight, Deborah!
Dear David, another timely tome. You seem to be able to read my mind. I am having trouble not being upset by the indifference (ingratitude? lack of a desire to stay in touch?), of my children. Despite the 1,000km distance, I made a point of visiting my parents three or four times a year. And enjoyed their company, and helping them as they aged. That practice seems to have skipped the next generation. People are always busy planning trips, just not to me. I find it hard to shrug my shoulders and accept it. Cultivating indifference doesn't seem to help either. Never mind. So sad, too bad, etc.
Fortunately, I can donate to you and your charities and make a difference to beings in real need of a hand-up! Definitely a feel good experience!
(PS, I hadn't heard of "crack the sads", but I understand where you are coming from!)
Thank you for sharing this. Sounds painful and very difficult.
Nothing like family relations- our children, our parents- to test where hopes/expectations meet reality.
Thinking of you, Chris 🙏
I understand, care and hold you in my heart.💜🙏🧘♀️🐈⬛👩🦳
Hi Chris, your comment touched me and I sincerely empathize with your pain.
I personally felt a whole heap of emotions from rejection, guilt, bewilderment, anger and always sad.
Something has changed and finally it’s becoming easier to accept ‘what is’ without my busy mind getting involved and I’m more peaceful.
David’s post yesterday teaches this point so clearly… ‘It’s important to understand that the people and objects of our attachment are not the problem. It is the power we give them to disturb our peace of mind.’
Very best wishes and peace to you.
I am really sorry to hear this, Chris. The younger ones, in particular, seem to live extremely distracted, fragmented lives these days. I fear for them they many will discover, too late, that they have prioritised what seems urgent over what is truly important.
Like a number of others in the comments, this was a timely post for me, as well! Some friends and I were just hiking and wondering how to not feel attachment without hardening or detaching.
This post brought up a number of thoughts. One was recalling the intense grief I felt when I lost a few close relations, my dad for one, and why it hurt so much. That led to how I can manage and accept my fear of the inevitable loss of my 18 year old soul cat, and ways to practice love AND non-attachment. I'm attached to how much I love him, and the joy I feel that our paths have crossed in this life. How fortunate I am to have known and loved those who are now passed on, and those who are not. While I don't consciously fear death, rather it is a subject I find fascinating, I do fear emotions and the physical pain they can bring. This post helped illuminate some blind spots, which helps in figuring out how to heal -and accept- in additional ways. So, thank you.
Another thought was noticing the differences in friendships I've stepped away/detached from out of the inability to accept "toxic people", vs friends I've accepted as they are, even if I don't resonate with their values. I'm still working on this thought, but recognizing some blind spots in my decisions might help me move towards true forgiveness for the people I labeled "toxic" in the past, as well as having better boundaries, being a better version of myself, as life continues. It seems to relate to attachment to the "good" version of these people rather than accepting the whole version, which would have allowed me to make a better decision on what kind of friendship to have, if any, far earlier than a "break up".
Anyway. Sharing those thoughts in case they land as helpful to someone else. I'll save the rest for my journal. Thank you for this post, David, and for initiating such constructive mental (emotional? spiritual?) exercises.
Thank you so much, Ariel, for sharing these powerful insights into dynamics in relationships that we must all navigate. So beautifully expresssed!
Thank you for your down to earth explanation of the distinction between Non-attachment and Detachment.
And how this difference speaks to the heart of Bodhichitta.
It is a “game-changer” how we engage more fully in the world-with others, for others, without being dependent on them nor the outcome of our endeavors for our ultimate happiness.
The photo of little Scrappy is adorable!! Thank you for the update from Twala! 🐈⬛🙏🪷 Peace to you, David
My heartfelt thanks, Linda!
Such a timely topic. I was just about to choose detachment, but I will now choose non-attachment instead and realign with my vision. I will be using the story of "unsuccess" with my team to help them reframe the idea of "failure" into one of learning and growth. Thank you!
Wonderful to hear from you Shelley! And so happy to help with the re-brand of Unsuccess!
Dearest David,
It is a very important difference between non-attachment and attachment. I will try to practice non-attachment to experience equanimity towards other people as well as unforeseen situations. I loved all your pictures and is amazing the help the Twala Trust Sanctuary bring to all those dogs.
Reading your emails is a source of knowledge each time.
Thanks so much for take your time to write them.
Greetings from Mexico
Rossy Cortes
My sincere thanks as always, Rossy!
Dear David, Thank you for another wonderful post. Translation from Buddhist terms to an equivalent is not an easy thing at all since so many times it’s a one word concept with great depth of meaning in Buddhism, and there just is no equivalent in non Buddhist cultures. Emptiness is the one of those words too. It’s nice we study it and “get” it all is well, but I’m sure lots of newcomers to Buddhist philosophy read and either interpret it poorly or are actually turned off by misunderstanding. It would be better to use several words and get it right than one word that misleads…..but I’m sure we’ll see emptiness and non-attachment anyway!
Thank you for your clear, concise, logical communications! Always a pleasure!
You are so right about the limitations of language and the problems translating in particular from Sanskrit, which had such an extensive and refined lexicon of words for different aspects of consciousness, to English, which has ... not so much! I so appreciate all your generous support!
This is a good synopsis. Though I need to let you know that since I do not have a credit card I cannot contribute to your causes overseas. I tried. It do not work. So, I shall continue to contribute here in the states.
I am sorry to hear about that frustration, Elizabeth, but thank you for your ongoing support!
Thank you David for making everything so easy to understand. I think that sometimes I try to look to deep and then confuse myself.
I have started “letting go” of attachment. Would that be the same as Non Attachment. I find that with friends and family you don’t stop loving or enjoying them. I just realize that, like me they are living their lives and adjusting to their own predicaments that everything just drifts apart. I used to obsess about it but now just accept things as they are.
I try to stay in touch by sending out “Good Morning/Night” WhatsApp’s, just to let them know I am here and thinking of them. Some reply, some don’t but that is fine.
I would love to have someone i could just hug now and again. I miss that in my life.
Tinkie is in my thoughts and prayers. I do hope she recovers.
Be in peace!
Letting go is the essence of non-attachment, Peter. It doesn't mean we lose our preferences, likes or dislikes, just recognising that they are not necessary to our ultimate wellbeing.
This was such a helpful piece. It made me think that when we feel we can't live without a person or thing it sometimes means we lack the very quality that we want in others. So if we could then focus on ourselves and try to achieve a slightly better version of ourselves it could help us be a better friend and also choose more appropriate friends. There is nothing better and more rewarding than a balanced relationship. And we all just keep living and learning.... and enjoying.
I am so very glad that this resonates with you, Trisha!
Dearest David, thank you for discussing this important difference! I think maybe if we don't fully understand "Non-Attachment", it could easily move to "de-tachment", which is NOT the same, and something we definitely don't want to move towards. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Exactly! Thank you so much Marianne!
Thanks once again for giving clarity to a topic that is so easily misunderstood and one that I need to continually return to.
It reminded me of when a young person I met, who on hearing I was trying to live with the guidance of Buddhas teachings asked me if I could explain to her how you could love someone deeply without becoming attached to them.
I hadn’t been practicing long and found it difficult to give her an answer. However, not long after I met a lady who was separating from her husband and she told that though she loved him she knew he was going to be happier with another person he had met. I thought then that, that was probably love without attachment, being able to put someone you love’s happiness before your own, which hopefully gave her peace too.
That's a wonderful example to offer, thank you Pamela. So powerful ... and so hard to do!
Very clearly explained. Thank you.
Many thanks Louise!
Hi David, I was wondering perhaps you could increase the monthly contributions to Twala trust from $11 to $20, given prices have skyrocketed. I appreciate you updating us on how the animals are going and they require to keep going.
As for non-attachment, I have this philosophy of 'what is meant to be mine, won't pass me'. However I do struggle not not forming attachments to my pets.😊 As for detachment, I work in mental health and notice people being clinically detached and I do get it, kind of a survival mechanism. But in saying that, kindness is a given and people need more of it in today's world. ❤️❤️❤️
That's a very kind thought, Morena, but increasing subscriber rates would make my work unaffordable to some and, like tax systems around the world, the higher the rates, the less revenue is generated! However, people can always give via the partnership with GDG - plus that offers tax deductible receipts, which is very helpful for many people.
So uplifting to hear the good that is being done through the charities that we support. My prayers are with Tinki and a full recovery. Its such an honour to be part of this growing community. Thank you so much for the opportunity David and Koala.
Our pleasure, thank you Lisa! Hope to see you up the hill soon!
Dear David, Thanks for the update from Twala Trust and for all your support of that project. I have had 3 Rhodesian Ridgebacks over the years (the current love was 7 in January), and I can't help noticing the physical similarities to many of the dogs coming for Doggy Tuesday (the African wild dog coming through, I guess). It breaks my heart to see an emaciated animal, but especially one who resembles my very well-fed pooch. Your update with photos reminded me send a donation to join your generous gifts.
May all beings be happy...
Misha
Yes is it confronting, Misha. Makes one recognise that it's not only humans in the first world who enjoy such good conditions.