Is Buddhism therapy or spirituality? Buddhist Advice Column
(Photo courtesty of Microsoft AI image generator)
A couple of weeks ago I was asked this question. Or rather, an extended version of it:
Some folks turn to Tibetan Buddhism to help them navigate pain or heal from past trauma. For others, the Dharma is more about a journey towards transcendence. So, is there a point where we shift from therapy to something more spiritual?
Buddhist reframing and cognitive behaviour therapy
Tibetan Buddhism is both therapy and spiritual path and has been for centuries. You might describe a text written by the great 8th century monk Shantideva as the world’s first self-help manual. In his Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life, Shantideva offers an approach to dealing with inner pain which anticipated Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) by more than a millennium.
CBT, one of the most widely practiced forms of psychotherapy today, is highly regarded for its evidence-based approach to treating depression, anxiety, PTSD and more. At its core, the therapy identifies and alters negative thought patterns and attitudes: we can’t change the world, says CBT, but we can change the way we experience it.
Shantideva explains this same concept with a vivid metaphor:
Where would I possibly find enough leather
With which to cover the surface of the earth?
Yet wearing leather just on the soles of my shoes
Is equivalent to covering the earth with it.
How does this translate into psychological tools? To offer some examples, if we are stuck with family members or colleagues whom we find difficult or exasperating, we may work to reframe them as ‘Precious Treasures’ who help us to cultivate patience – something our friends rarely do.
Fear of missing out (FOMO), whether applied to material objects, relationships – or tickets to a Taylor Swift concert! -may be antidoted by asking ourselves if the possessors of all such phenomena exist in a state of abiding wellbeing? If not, why allow our own peace of mind to be troubled by their absence?
Guilt, meanwhile, is redefined. Our troubling actions aren’t so much a sign of personal unworthiness about which we can do nothing, as something to be regretted - like inadvertently swallowing poison - to which a robust response is most definitely required.
There are a myriad of such practices equally at home in a counsellor’s office as on a teaching throne. Significantly, the Dharma doesn’t focus only on removing pain, but also on cultivating extraordinary wellbeing. It is not just about ending suffering, but also about engendering the most exquisite states of consciousness. Of which more in a moment.
A need for healing
When people sign up to introductory Dharma courses, they often do so needing therapeutic support. A cancer diagnosis, relationship breakdown or business disaster may prompt a deeper search for meaning. Buddhist insights and practices may seem a good place to find answers.
But what happens when the cancer goes into remission? When new romance flourishes? When a fresh commercial opportunity becomes available? Do classes have any further value or have they served their purpose?
This life alone, or future lives? Ourselves alone or others too?
Which brings us to an understanding of our question: fixing inner pain in this life is therapy. Fixing pain in this life and whatever follows, along with the motivation to help fix others’, is a broader quest that we anticipate unfolding over lifetimes. Therefore, ‘spiritual’ in nature.
Many of us drawn to the Dharma, even if initially for self-help reasons, may find the Buddhist worldview resonates with us. The degree to which we pursue a path of transcendence depends on the extent to which our focus shifts from concerns purely of this life to a more panoramic vision. From immediate self-concern to a wider, more interconnected view of reality.
A ‘working hypothesis’
We can’t force this shift. Nor should we try. No one is telling us to believe in something or risk eternal damnation! One of my teachers gave me excellent advice when, early on, I told him that I wrestled with the fact that there isn’t any evidence of consciousness continuing after this life that would stand up to scientific scrutiny or a court of law.
To which he replied: “You’re right. But nor is there evidential proof of the opposite. So, how about moving forward with continuity as your working hypothesis?”
I’ve heard this idea expressed catchily as ‘the absence of evidence isn’t the same as evidence of absence.’
Armed with our working hypothesis, how best to begin on the path to enlightenment?
I know someone who approached his learned guru as an earnest young man with exactly such a goal. A focused, ambitious, ‘all in’ type of person, who had been a highly competitive sportsman, he accepted the aim of enlightenment as the worthiest possible pursuit and now wished to get there as fast as possible. No dawdling or getting side-tracked for him. It was enlightenment or bust!
Caring for others more than oneself
He asked his teacher if could undertake a calm abiding retreat. The objective of such an exercise is to train the mind to the point that we can focus on any chosen object for as long as we wish without a moment’s distraction or sleepiness. A mind thus trained is capable of penetrating the meaning of shunyata directly, thereby attaining permanent peace.
The young man’s guru told him he knew of an elderly woman who had undertaken just such a retreat and achieved calm abiding within six months. Which seemed encouraging. However, the guru cautioned him, such a retreat can only succeed on the basis of proper preparation. “What preparation is that?” asked the young man. His teacher leaned over to touch his arm. “Learn to care for others more than oneself,” he said. “When you do that, calm abiding is easy.”
The point being made by the guru was simple but profound: virtue is the rocket-fuel of inner progress. You can’t meditate your way to enlightenment unless your mind is ripe for it. Virtue – a cause of happiness – arises from caring for others. And the extent to which we have widened the focus of our concern from only ourselves, to include the welfare of other beings, determines how easily our minds settle when we sit to meditate. One directly supports the other.
The convergence of spirituality and inner wellbeing
Which brings us to the most delightful convergence. I mentioned earlier that Buddha’s teachings offer not only antidotes to suffering, but also practices on how best we may thrive. And these practices might be summarised as … drum roll … ‘caring for others.’
An other-focused mind, in other words, isn’t only necessary if we have set our sights on future enlightenment. It is also the best possible thing we can do in this life if we wish to be truly fulfilled.
Most of us have some first-hand evidence that when we focus our compassionate attention on others, we experience the most profound fulfilment of all. It’s a level of wellbeing quite different from passing pleasures.
Lamas invite us to take an unflinching view of our own minds and ask ourselves: how much of our mental bandwidth is devoted to ‘me’ versus ‘others’? How self-absorbed are we? How much compassionate attention do we give to others’ wellbeing?
We can choose consciously to alter the balance between self and other and do so using whatever skills or interests we have. It doesn’t matter whether we’re taking care of animals in rescue centres or visiting a lonely neighbour, maintaining gardens at our local temple or doing our best to help other people get whatever we ourselves most wish for. ‘Other development’ is the ultimate form of ‘self-development,’ and it paves the path to transcendence. It is what the Dalai Lama calls being wisely selfish.
Bodhichitta and shunyata
While the virtuous actions we undertake will vary according to temperament, we train to undertake them with the same recollections of bodhichitta and shunyata. I have written about both of these a fair bit – we teach what we most need to learn! – and it’s interesting how often I get responses along the lines “Drop all the mental gymnastics! Just be a decent person.”
I understand where people are coming from, but when they say this I know they’ve never tried it. At least, not much. Because when we do train in bodhichitta and shunyata, when we do make an effort to recollect them through the day while cultivating virtue, our sense of reality starts to shift. In a subtle but palpable way, we experience moments when we feel part of a much wider, more benevolent reality. When the distinction between self and other somehow lessens and we experience a gratitude and wonder we would never have guessed at when we first started out.
We discover that it is not ‘enlightenment or bust’ so much as an unfolding journey – one which it is our most extraordinary privilege to have stumbled upon, even when we are still hiking through the foothills of transcendence.
Summary
Tibetan Buddhism is therapy and it’s also spirituality. It’s about dealing with the wounds of this life and it’s also about stepping back and seeing a much wider perspective. Broadening our vision encourages us to live with greater connection, compassion and gratitude for the extraordinary opportunity each new day offers.
The power of loving kindness
Paying subscribers to this newsletter help support some extraordinary causes including rescue centres for vulnerable animals - both domestic and indigenous - in Zimbabwe. All part of that re-balancing of self and other.
You may recall an update from Twala in last week’s newsletter, about a puppy with Parvo virus, who was left, abandoned at the gate of Twala tied by a rope to a tree by her owner. Despite all the vet team tried to do for her, I am sorry to report that she died during the week. This update from Sarah Carter at Twala:
“We take the wins, to hold onto during the heart-breaking losses. Our sweet Parvo pup passed away, after we fought hard to pull her through this terrible disease. But little Spike, who came in for sterilisation a few weeks ago and was so dreadfully frightened, hiding and shaking in her kennel, is now a bright light in our lives, giving hugs, taking treats from our hands and playing with the other dogs.
Video below: Spike when she first arrived at Twala:
“This is what helps us keep going, the dogs who get to have a better life because of Doggy Tuesday. Thank you to everyone who donated this week - your support makes it possible for us to do our best for these dogs, always.” Sarah Carter
Video below: Spike this week:
Amor Vincit Omnia! (Latin: Love conquers all)
Oh my goodness - Spike! What an amazing difference! All beings really do want happiness don't they. Such a great article. Thank you David. I'm so grateful. 🙏
Thanks David. Really readable and clear. I’m really enjoying your posts as very approachable and understandable insights into to Tibetan Buddhism.
I really liked this: ‘And the extent to which we have widened the focus of our concern from only ourselves, to include the welfare of other beings, determines how easily our minds settle when we sit to meditate. One directly supports the other.’