Famous writers: by their cats
Guess whose cats penned these paragraphs?
Many writers and artists through the years have enjoyed close relationships with cats. Analytical articles by psychologists suggest this is because creative types are eccentric and introverted loners who find themselves reflected in the feline archetype. Personally, I think this explanation says more about psychologists than it does about creative types. Or, for that matter, cats! A lot of the most creative people I know aren’t especially eccentric or introverted, and enjoy a good party as much as anyone.
The reason that creative people get along so well with cats may simply be that for the long time we spend at our desks or in our studios, it’s nice to have the company of a being who isn’t remotely attention-seeking, and whose deeply nonchalant manner and contented repose is very restful. When we are relaxed we are more playful. When we are playful we come up with creative ideas. In such a way, our cat may very well be our muse. The relaxed and purring accompaniment to the blank screen or the empty canvas before Big Bang.
For a while I’ve had the thought that it would be fun to write a book where we turned the tables on the artist-cat relationship. Each chapter could be contributed by the cat about his or her person.
What might be revealed about the world’s most famous writers by those beings who, more than any other, saw them at work? Might we discover fresh insights into people beyond what their biographers have already revealed? Could it even be that some elements of their artistic style was not, in fact, uniquely theirs? What if, having arisen through the restful presence of their feline oracle, it continued to abide with it - so that Picasso’s cat, for example, was stylistically more Picasso than Picasso? If so, how very surreal the world must have seemed to that poor creature!
While these ideas percolate, in the meantime just for fun, here are three brief passages by three cats about three of the most famous writers in the English language. I’m not going to reveal the names of the authors here and now – I want you to have the fun of guessing them. And please let me know how many lines, in each case, it takes you to work it out. So powerful are the feline muses that I won’t be surprised if don’t get there within just one or two sentences of their distinctive tones of voice, or authorial preoccupations.
At the bottom of the article, I reveal who’s who and also a bit about the feline-author relationships that were so important.
For an additional twist, one of the cats is not, strictly speaking, felis domesticus. As you will gather …
Author One
The author stood by the bookcase near the window that looked across garden to the sea. The room was still and cool and quiet. On the bookcase was a typewriter with papers spread on either side of it and behind him was a desk covered with letters and newspaper clippings and a zebra, warthog, rhino and lion carved from wood. All morning the author stared at the empty page in the typewriter and sometimes he lifted his hands to the keyboard before lowering them.
I had been sitting on a pile of magazines nearby watching. I looked at the desk and saw the onyx bowl containing a collection of bullet heads. I leapt up and knocked the bowl over and there was a rattle of lead striking the floor.
The author was startled and turned to see the clatter of bullets. He was reminded of rifles and war and other manly things. He turned back to the typewriter and raised both hands and began striking the keys.
He continued sniping rapidly at his target for the next hour until he threw back the carriage return, flicked the lever and tugged out the paper. A page full of words.
He turned to face the door. “Carlos!” he bellowed. “Mojito and marlin!”
It was the standard order. A reward for the master and one for his muse.